The Nine Fantasies That Will Ruin Your Life (and the Eight Realities That Will Save You) by Joy Browne M.D

Author:Joy Browne, M.D. [Browne, Joy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-55863-3
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 1998-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

Patsy darlin’, calm down. Panic isn’t a useful dating mode. That article you’re referring to about a woman over the age of forty having a hard time finding a mate made headlines, but the findings were almost immediately disputed. You’re a smart, successful woman. Let’s figure out why you’re in such a hurry and what you can do about it.

For most of human history the lone woman was at risk. A single male might find life more difficult without a mate, but he could still hunt or forage; a female was helpless. A lone pregnant female could seldom survive without the group feeding her and her young and protecting both of them from predators. We’ve come a long way, baby—sorta. We can now heat our caves, light our way, move away from danger, cook our food, gather at the local shopping mall, and raise kids alone. But for many women and some men, the fantasy persists that you’re not going to be able to survive without a partner. This Noah’s Ark theory of life warns that when the floods come, Noah will only allow male-female couples on the cruise. The fear is that if we don’t hurry up and find a mate, the rains will come and we’ll be left behind to drown.

Patsy, the weather forecast isn’t bad, and if the rain comes, you can learn to swim or find a rowboat. You’re not going to perish if you don’t get paired off. If you can face your terror of being alone, you can choose to make rational, personal choices rather than being pulled down by the dark fear of drowning alone. You’re fine just being you. Honest.

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